Canada's WonderSpeak

Last night we returned from a week at Blue Mountain Village, just outside Collingwood, which is just north of Toronto. Which is . . . just kidding . . . everyone knows where Toronto is. Although we had Internet access, it didn't function well and many blog-worthy escapades went unrecorded. Ah well, big deal. It did give me pause, however, because if Intrawest has trouble providing Internet access, how exactly will Kenya, Vietnam or Samoa fare? I do love my Internet access and can foresee I may get a bit cranky without it. I guess that will help me relate to the boys, who will no doubt be grieving for their Wii at times next year.

While trying to escape the harsh and looming reality of a return to work and school, our family had a good time at "Blue". We visited some caves, did a hike through the woods, went "gem-hunting", and ventured across a very high and long suspension bridge with gorgeous views of Georgian Bay. We had lots of time in the pool and some beach time as well. We explored the shops and restaurants of Blue Mtn. Village and the quainter downtown of Collingwood. And we spent a day at Canada's Moneyland, er, I mean, Wonderland. Ten hours to be exact. Ten migraine-inducing hours. Ted, having grown up in the Toronto area, had of course been to Wonderland before but neither the kids nor myself had. Being so close by, we thought we should go. It was fun, during those one or two minutes when you were actually on a ride, but the hour-long line-ups were truly an exercise in the development of patience and perseverance.

I don't normally eavesdrop on people and analyze their language, but maybe it was because I was trying to get my head back into work-mode, or maybe it was because when you are stuck in a long, snaking line behind an assortment of loud-talkers for upwards of an hour, what else is there to do? In any case, here are some verbatim utterances overheard from my Canada's Wonderland language sample:

- "if she don't get the pink swan, she's gonna have a frickin' fit" (mother to weary, teenage employee working the Swan Ride)
- "there's not nothin' wrong with him, he just needs some food and sh** in him and he'll be fine" (mother to another weary, teenage employee working Jimmy Neutron's Brainwasher ride, as she proceeded to load her screaming, overheated toddler into the ride car)
- "he don't know nothing, he ain't gonna be where's he says he's gonna be" (mother fretting to her adult friend as her teen-age son splits from the hopelessly long line for the Thunder Mountain ride)

In summary, I heard double negative after double negative and I started to wonder if there might be some unique Canada's Wonderland dialect of English that has yet to be fully transcribed. I heard double negatives used with such startling consistency that it made me wonder, if people can use double negatives in such a consistent, rule-governed way, why is it so hard to use the grammatically correct version? You may be thinking, who cares? From a functional point of view, the meaning is clear and the purpose of communication is to get your message across so really there is no problem. But still . . . I'm just saying. If you think it bugs me, you should watch out for your local high school English teacher. This drives them nuts.

Now I'm rambling on about grammar. I will stop. (I shall stop?) All in all, we had a great time.
The boys were remarkably patient in the lengthy lines at Canada's Wonderland - one of the beneficial by-products of their tendency to zone out from time to time.
Jackson did not get the green swan he was pining for, but he was entirely mature about it. In other words, he didn't have no frickin' fit.

Flugtag Fun

We went to watch the Red Bull Flugtag competition this afternoon. Flugtag is the German word for "flying day", the day people fly off on their holiday. (I learned this from an article in today's paper). In this event, teams of 5 people attempt to get airborne using their homemade flying contraption. Here in Ottawa, they basically ran and jumped off a tower about 7 meters high, staying airborne for a few seconds before plunging in the Ottawa River. We had planned to meet up with friends but got there a bit late and the crowds were huge. We tried calling them on their cell, but we figure they couldn't hear it with all the noise. (Either that, or they have call display. Just kidding). As we were sitting in the baking sun, unable to see much and the boys on the verge of whininess, some German tourists who had to leave early came up to us and offered us their four VIP passes (!) Okay, yes, we accept. We then got to go to a great viewing spot up on the roof of the Museum of Civilization, complete with benches, umbrellas for shade, and free Red Bull drinks. From this vantage point, it looked like a lot of fun. The teams have to perform a skit and get judged for creativity and showmanship, as well as for the distance they travel. The winners were four girls, in a yellow car with a pink surfboard on the roof ("Surf and the City"). Our favourites, though, were a Star Wars contraption called "Millenial Falcon" and a large banana hammock (peeling it produced the wings).


So anyway, our own flugtag (flying day) is now officially less than one year away. (That is my segue into making a reference to the Big Trip, since that is what this blog is supposed to be about - best I could do!) Check out our Countdown Calculator in the Links section - a bit scary to see that number now below 365 days, but exciting too! Maybe we'll find another Flugtag competition to watch somewhere along the way . . .