Kathi's Final Post: Some Highlights

Time to return Darlene's Jacket and Flat Stanley to their rightful owners: Personal highlights for me from our year away - one definitely includes meeting our Compassion Child Longiro from Maralel, Kenya:
With Ann outside of the Bethany Kids Relief and Rehabilitation Hospital in Kenya. Meeting and mentoring Ann was definitely a highlight:

A huge highlight for me - realizing my dream of participating in a cleft lip/palate repair mission in Africa. This little girl is one of the lucky ones, to be getting surgery at the superior hospital in Kijabe at such a young age:

Phanice and her Mom getting ready to go home after surgery - another really special girl that stole my heart in Kijabe:

Another big highlight for our family was getting to see the work of Sauti Moja with Corey Wright. Here we are helping him weigh kids in rural Tanzania to record the effects of drought and malnutrition that will make the case for support:

Looking out at Mt. Kilimanjaro from Corey's tented camp in Longido, Tanzania. I wish I had a picture of this at sunrise . . . amazing:

A major highlight - seeing my Mom after two years! Here we are in front of a mural on a building in Duck Lake, Saskatchewan. How many women can wear a pair of jeans like this at age 84? You look awesome Mom!

This is it, folks. My final post. Don’t completely tune us out yet, though, as both Mitchell & Jackson are writing their last posts as well.

I have enjoyed keeping the blog and I can honestly say it was never a chore to write any of the posts. I always had fun composing them and never put a huge effort into it (perhaps that was obvious?) in terms of re-writing or editing. It was just kind of whatever came into my head and trickled out my fingers onto this keyboard. I would have loved the boys to contribute more but they definitely did a good job when they did feel the inspiration. And Moms are not supposed to nag, right? So I tried not to.

But I will treasure these written memories and photos for many years to come. I can foresee the day when, perhaps 30 years from now, one of my young grandchildren prods me awake in my Barcalounger and says, “Nana, show us the time you took daddy to the island of Western Samoa”. And so I will grope for my glasses, insert my dentures, fire up the laptop (will we still have laptops 30 years from now?), and pull up this old blog. Yes indeed. Let’s just hope I don’t accidentally delete it in the stupor of my old age.

How can I possibly sum up this year? I feel almost stupid when people ask me “so, how was your year?” I don’t even know where to begin so I find myself saying astonishingly lame things like “it was really good”, or even worse, “fine thanks”. God help me.

There’s a saying when it comes to raising children. It goes something like, the days are long but the years are short. That’s what this year of travel felt like – some of the days were long and difficult but the year was short, way too short. But I know special things cannot last forever. If they did, they would be dulled by repetition and cease to be special. I will keep dreaming about the next adventure, planning, saving, and figuring out a way for a next time. I would love to do more Smile Train or Operation Smile missions and I would definitely love to return to Kenya and see Ann (the new speech therapy assistant) at the hospital in Kijabe. We have continued to keep in touch through e-mail and, amazing as she is, I know she needs support in her new role.

Here’s another saying about children, one of my favourite quotes of all time. “The decision to have a child. It is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body” (Elizabeth Stone). Anyone who’s a mother knows the truth of this. The best thing about this year for me was to go walking around with my two hearts that live outside my body, with their Dad, all over the world.

I haven’t read the book Eat Love Pray nor have I seen the movie but my friend Darlene & I are going later week. (I have her dry-cleaned jacket ready to return). There is huge buzz in the media about this book/movie that I am just hearing about but one thing confuses me. Instead of dumping her husband, why didn’t she just persuade him to join her? Even better, have a couple of kids with him and take them too! But then I guess the book would be called Eat. Love. Pray. Do Laundry. Homeschool. Referee Sibling Squabbles. Etc. Etc. and that’s really not a catchy title, is it? I am curious to see it but I have a feeling I may exit the theatre with red eyes and a broken heart at seeing the gorgeous cinematography. My friend Joanne said to me the other night, “Don’t go see it Kathi. It’s too soon”. I had to laugh at that. Honestly, I will be okay!

About marriage and travel. Hmm, I read Ted’s last post with great interest. Hey, that’s the great thing about marrying someone who’s more on the introverted side of the continuum. You never get bored because you’ll always be wondering what the other person is thinking. It’s true, as he said, we had some tough times and some disagreements. Whoever said love means never having to say you’re sorry is crazy. That is one quote I have never liked. Good thing we were always able to say sorry when needed or we would not have survived this trip. We fell into clearly demarcated roles early on, with Ted doing all the driving and navigating (he used to drive taxi in Toronto in his student days so those aggressive driving tactics came in handy many times) and me doing all the research and booking accommodations along the way. We were a good team for sure and will continue to be here on the home front.

About children and travel. I think the kids are all right, to quote another current movie. I truly believe there was no down side for them, even if we never quite mastered the entire math curriculum. For me, I felt like I got my oldest son back. He had grown to strongly dislike school and this year away could not have come at a better time for him in particular. I have seen Mitchell’s confidence grow and the smile come back to his face. We have conversations like never before and I am determined not to let school, as important as it is, come between us again. He is rightly proud of his detailed trip journal, now at 45+ typed pages with one last entry to come. He has developed an interest in and talent for photography, even winning a contest with one of his early trip photos. I hope travel will always be a part of his life, so I can have even more interesting places to go in my retirement.

And Jackson, he has grown into the quite the little man as well. I think I may have said this before but, to an 8-year-old, a week at Nana’s could feel like a year so this was a looong year for him. He thought at times we might never actually get back home. He is probably the most delighted of all of us to be back at home, even though there were many highlights for him (especially anything to do with animals or sporting events). We have made the decision to put him in French Immersion as he enters Gr. 4 this fall. His older brother asks him, "what if you’re not with all your friends?" Jackson’s reply astounds me: “Well I’ll just see them at recess. You’re not supposed to play with your friends in class anyway. That’s what recess is for.” Is this child actually the fruit of my womb? I follow up with the only logical question under the circumstances: “Did you hear that Mitchell??”

So I am home now. It feels fine thanks. What can I say? I am happy to see my small but select group of high-quality friends! I am happy to be re-united with my duvet, my coffee-maker and my washing machine. I am happy to be able to pick up a delicious pie from my friend Kerry at Life of Pie. Ah, the comforts of home. But I won’t kid you. It’s a bittersweet time for me. After four years of planning and dreaming, and then the big year itself, all those hours of anticipation . . . well, it leaves a void. A friend said to me, it’s like spending all day in the kitchen cooking a great feast and then it gets eaten in 15 minutes and you’re like, wow it’s over already. Yes, that is exactly what it’s like.

During our year away, we had the freedom and autonomy to go anywhere and do anything we felt like. Living with just the stuff in one bag on your back is not only possible; it’s also very liberating. When I came home and faced the task of unpacking all our possessions, I thought who needs all this stuff anyway? Much better to live in the here-and-now with just what you need at hand, not worrying about the report that should have been written last week or the meeting coming up next week. So I will have some adjusting to do when I get back to work next week. I will be striving to live more in the moment and maintain that all-important balance that everyone talks about. I will also have to switch from my Cambodian elephant-embroidered purse to a more sensible one with zippers and compartments . . . sigh.

Time to wrap this up! I have noticed people often end their Big Trip blogs with a “By the Numbers” summation. So here is ours:

By The Numbers:

375 – consecutive days of travel in total
100,000+ - total kilometers covered (this sounds like an awful lot to me but Ted insists it is the case - includes our 34,000 RTW ticket mileage which equals 54,718km plus 9,000km in France and Spain; 10,000km exploring all over Kenya and Tanzania; the 15,000km circuit around South-East Asia (Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos); 2000km around Japan; 6500km driving the east coast of Australia; about 1200km driving the North Island of New Zealand; and over 7000km all across Canada and parts of the U.S.)
17 – countries (18 if you were to count the unscheduled landing in Saudi Arabia for two
hours)
5 – continents (North America, Europe, Africa, Asia and Oceania)
6 – times crossing the equator
1 – time crossing the International Date Line
10 - languages we attempted to speak (social phrases only, don’t be too impressed) – these included French, Swahili, Arabic, Thai, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Lao, Japanese, Korean, and Samoan. Should we count the Aussie dialect too?
20 – flights in total
9 – different modes of transportation (the usual planes, trains - including the famous Reunification Express train of Vietnam and the shinkansen bullet train in Japan - & automobiles plus motorcycles, boats, tuk-tuks, bikes, Jucy camper-van and, oh yes, one distinctly memorable bus ride from hell)
0 – times we saw snow, ice or frost – yeah!! (oops, I forgot, there was the Columbia Icefields in Alberta) – okay, so no winters anyway
1 – time arrested (otherwise known as the nightmare in Zurich)
1 – trip to the hospital (in Zanzibar for Kathi’s infected foot)
0 – thefts (people, listen up, the world is safer than you think!)
3 – mountains climbed (Peyrepertuse and Montségur in France and Mt. Longonot in Kenya)
15,000 – digital photos taken (yes, they are all actually organized into folders on our hard drive now!)
Countless – friends made or re-united with
ONE – loving God who protected us every step of the way
ZERO – regrets
MANY – thanks for traveling with us vicariously!

Post Travel - Day 19 in Ottawa

I’m settling into my third week back at the old grind. The pace is slow as projects are assigned one by one. This is beneficial as to not inherit others' problems. I can ease into finding my way in the system. I wonder how far I will get before I’m completely disillusioned and disenfranchised from the North American world longing for something different.

As I reflect on our trip I am adjusting ok. Writing this post has been emotional for me as I remember my experiences and reflect on the impact on our family. In some circles, there is not that much interest around our trip. People can’t relate, I suppose. Who takes a year off, let alone travels to 17 countries around the world logging tens of thousands of kilometres over land by car, bus and rail, by sea, and by air - with two kids in tow? It was and will remain truly ours. It will be our family experience to keep with us always.

Was it worth it? How do you put a value on this experience except to measure value in the good times we shared together. I had my moments of doubt though when we had our family stresses (yes they did happen) that resulted in conflict. There was conflict between the kids, between the kids and us, and between us as spouses. There were times when it felt like a matter of endurance – enduring a place or each other until the next stop. It certainly cost a lot of money and an opportunity cost associated with the spending of the money we saved on our trip, versus paying off our house or the purchase of some other tangible item – say a new car or a house full of the latest modern gadgets and electronics. We’ll forego the super LED LCD HDTV for now and stay with our decade old CRT TV. But our trip was truly an accomplishment. A joint accomplishment but lots of credit is due Kathi.

As for the kids, they are happy to be home but sometimes recall fond memories of events on our trip. Only time will tell how it moves them in areas of maturity and understanding of their place in the world. They are certainly more knowledgeable of world events, places and bits of politics and history way beyond their years. They can place cities and countries that adults cannot, let alone their peers. Especially Jackson, who at eight years old, has taken on recognizing and identifying dozens upon dozens of international and regional flags. They can visualize places and the faces, and the sights and sounds of some familiar and some very foreign lands.

One standout experience for me, for example, is life in Vietnam. There is the tug and pull of the memory of the streets of Hanoi, Vietnam where the sidewalks - where there are any - are jammed with motorbikes forcing one to walk along the road. You take your life in your hands as you attempt to cross multiple lanes of bikes going in both directions that ignore the traffic signs and laws. The noise and chaos motivates a yearning to leave - as soon as possible - but the stimulation exacts an excitement and happiness within for having been there.

Another observation of the ‘new world’ occurred to me yesterday. People around seem to be strutting around in an air of entitlement, arrogant in their behaviour. This is much like us beforehand, as Kathi rightly points out. People who haven’t travelled seem to be oblivious to the realities of the world beyond these borders, self-absorbed in the minutia of their own lives. When you have experienced a flash flood, as we did travelling overland by bus in Tanzania, and with the recall of the recognition of a real and possible danger, one can relate better to the floods of Pakistan half a world away. For us, including the kids, our experiences of the news, a movie, or a book are brought more alive as result - from the recent flooding in the mid-western U.S., to the streets of Tokyo in a movie, or the lines of a Hemingway book set in Paris, because we have lived it.

Next stop - somewhere off Bank Street.

TE

Back in Ontario: It's Been Surreal

Sister-in-law Katrina with granddaughter Trinity:The secret is out now. We are actually back in Ottawa! However, we are behind in this blog (not that anyone is going to hold that against us). After we crossed the border back into Canada, we visited yet another of my siblings, this time my brother Jim in London, ON. So continuing in the saga of all you never wanted to know about Kathi's family and didn't even have to ask . . .

Us with Jim & Katrina, daughter Celine and grandaughter Trinity:

My brother Jim is four years older than me. We used to fight like cats and dogs but it's all good now! It looks as though, in the fall, he will return to his job of driving special needs kids in a bus to their schools, a pretty cool job I think. He probably gets to know these amazing little people better than I do in my job as a "testing, testing, 1-2-3" worker bee SLP. I enjoyed getting re-acquainted with my niece Celine, now a teenager. She is a special girl to me and I intend to kidnap her for an Ottawa weekend in the very near future.

Jim & Katrina:

I have to say, it was great to drive all across Canada stopping to see every member of my immediate family (with one notable exception - my oldest brother Ken and his wife Terry are in Togo, Africa right now doing their annual medical mission). A cross-Canada journey would be a pretty amazing trip in and of itself, but coming on the heels of our round-the-world adventure it was even better. We got to share photos and stories with our families and now realize the one question we must formulate an answer to, since every single person asked us this: What was your favourite place on the trip? Not easy to answer, kind of like comparing apples and oranges. All the places were unique and incomparable. We'll have to come up with something better than that, though.

After London, we dropped in on good friends in Georgetown and stayed a couple of nights with them. Two of their kids were away at camp so they had loads of space for us. A highlight was rafting down the Credit River with them, from a quaint town called Terra Cotta to another historic town called Glen Williams. Another good friend, Josette, came with us

Our friends in Georgetown: Mark & Andrea and two of their four kids, Ryan & Danae:

With my friend Andrea. She shared a beautiful quote with me - "It has been said that true friends can go long periods of time without speaking & never question your friendship. This type of friend picks up like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it's been or how far away they live. And, they don’t hold grudges. They understand ...that life's busy......but, that you'll ...always... love them":

Andrea's daughter Danae & puppy Lizzie:

We spent one great afternoon rafting down the Credit River in the Halton Hills area:

Danae & Josette:

Ted's family is much more manageable in size than my own. We met up with his mom in Whitby and his brother Brian in Toronto. Ted's mom was really happy to see her grandsons back in one piece!

In Toronto, the guys got to go up the CN tower (Jackson has been itching to do this for years) and visit the Hockey Hall of Fame. We had a fun BBQ with friends who live in downtown Toronto. Everyone agreed it was pretty surreal to be doing the same BBQ with the exact same people exactly one year later. Surreal. One of those words I rarely use simply because it is so often misused. Like ironic, affect, effect or whom. But in this instance, it was truly the only word that fit . . .

Nana Elborn is pleased to be reunited with the Elborn men:

View from the CN Tower - even in the very familiar city of Toronto, the sightseeing just never stops:

Good friends in Toronto hosted a Welcome Back BBQ for us in Toronto. Thanks Tracey & Andrew!

The boys (and one girl) let off steam playing ball hockey at the BBQ:

Visiting around the "Clubhouse":

It's been just over a year since we were last in Toronto. Some of us are a little taller . . .

Ted & his good friend Bob. They have known each other since high school but they don't talk about their friendship like us women do - they mostly just talk about cars and home reno projects :)

A very climbable tree in Bob & Carol's Toronto backyard:

Someone famous once said, "Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is"

More profound thoughts to come, if we can muster them up. We have offered to give the last words to the boys, so we shall see if they take us up on that opportunity. Another post or two to come, then we'll sign off for good. Thanks for sticking with us!

Runnin' Back to Saskatoon

One of several bridges in Saskatoon:View of the same South Saskatchewan River from my parents' former farm (about 1 hour north of Saskatoon):Church at Historic Batoche, just a few miles from the old family farm:

Five years since our last visit, we finally made a return trip to my hometown of Saskatoon. The last time was the occasion of my Mom's 80th birthday in 2005. I have seen my family since then (lest you think I am a really bad daughter/sister), but at other family celebrations, just not in Saskatoon. I enjoyed seeing the old haunts and I think my kids got a kick out of seeing where I grew up. Ted kept busy kibitzing with my family and, of course, washing any and all cars around especially our own :)

At one time, all nine members of our family lived in a big house on a leafy street near the university. At this point there is only my Mom, now in a retirement residence, my brother Jim's two adult children (Laura and Jim Jr.), and another one of my brothers (Bob) and his family still residing in Saskatoon. Brother Bob and his wife Mary-Jane are now empty-nesters with daughter Portia at McGill and son JP on his own but still in town. JP has lost the fabulous dreadlocks he sported throughout high school and looks so handsome and grown-up I would not have recognized him.

A couple of times I snuck away from all the family action to see a few old high school and university friends. We all congratulated ourselves on how little we have changed and how great we all still look, ha, ha. Well what are friends for, if not to prop up your ego?

Saskatoon itself just keeps looking better and better. The crown jewel of this city of about 200,000 is the mighty Saskatchewan River that runs through it, the parkland and trails alongside the river, as well as the many bridges that span it. We shopped at the expanded Farmer's Market, went for scenic bike rides along the river (an even better ride, I will admit, than Ottawa's canal bike paths), and saw all the new shops and restaurants in the growing downtown and Broadway areas. But mostly we hung out at Bob & MJ's place, the kids swimming in their backyard pool and visiting with their Nana, aunts, uncles and cousins.

My Mom's new seniors' home is quite lovely and it was reassuring to see that she has made several good friends. We all felt Grandpa George's absence, though, and can hardly comprehend that is already five months since he passed away.

Homeschooling, believe it or not, has continued - aren't we the cruel parents? We took a trip to historic Batoche to learn all about the North-West Rebellion of 1885 - or should I say, the North-West Resistance of 1885. Very interesting that people in Saskatchewan refer to the incidents associated with Louis Riel and Gabriel Dumont as an armed "resistance" whereas in Ontario it is still called a "rebellion". A matter of perspective. Louis Riel is regarded as a hero of the Metis people for standing up to the indifferent government in Ottawa; he was hanged for treason, though. That sentiment of westerners disliking Ottawa still exists to some degree. Chatting with staff at Batoche, they would always ask, where are you visiting from? Ottawa, I would say apologetically, but I'm actually from Saskatoon.

A big highlight for me was travelling just a few more miles to the north-west of Batoche to once more see the farm my parents owned until the mid-1990s. This was a beautiful chunk of land that my Dad loved and spent every spare minute at, even though we never lived there. We ran into the man who now owns it with his brothers. This man, Raymond, was kind enough to spend a couple of hours with us, showing all the things I remembered - such as the huge buffalo pit we used to climb down - and all the things that have changed and developed with the new owners. A lake my Dad created (long story involving dynamite to blow up beaver dams plus many earth-movers) now has many homes and cottages on its shores. Just before he died in 1989, my Dad had carved up a section of land around the lake into cottage lots. Seeing actual homes and cottages surrounding this lake was amazing to me. As kids we swam in it. We skated on it. And now a small community lives by it. Weird.

Jackson is enjoying Uncle Bob & Auntie MJ's pool and perfecting his dive:

Uncle Bob instructing Jackson in the ways of chopping kindling for an outdoor fire we had one night:

Sharing brunch with my Mom at her new place (Mary-Jane's Mom joined us as well):

Playing ping pong with Nana at the retirement residence:

The kids loved it when Uncle Bob took each of them for a spin in this little convertible that was his gift to Auntie MJ:

Nephew JP with his girlfriend Ashley:

My niece Laura & her partner Rob, expecting this December:

The church at the historic village of Batoche:

Hard to see but Jackson is holding Flat Stanley here. He's getting a little embarrassed about the whole Flat Stanley thing now and is trying to hold him inconspicuously- alas, we may have to put FS to rest soon :)

Bullet holes in the rectory (from General Middleton's gatling gun):

Cemetary at Batoche (Louis Riel was buried in Regina, however, where he was hanged):

Jackson in front of Gabriel Dumont's memorial stone at Batoche:

Sign at one of the entrances to my parents' former farm:

My Mom and Raymond sharing a beer at the old family farm (now his property):

Chante Lake - I had to agree when Raymond said to me "your dad was 20 years ahead of his time". It was rewarding to see the lake so high and fresh and even stocked with fish:

Homes and cottages dotting Chante Lake:

Ted talking to Raymond. This is the spot on the farm where my parents dreamed of building a retirement house - amazing views of the South Saskatchewan River and on the edge of an historic buffalo pit:

Our trusty Saturn Vue has good high clearance to drive the farm fields:

Time to keep driving. Maybe next time I won't wait so long to run back to Saskatoon.